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Zachary Devereux Wiki
Update It has been recently discovered that the retardation rate of Zachary Devereux has increased exponentially, and so we predict that by this point in time (17 March 2012) we can say goodbye to a subspecies and hello to a new species, Homo Devereux. Zachary Devereux Conservation/Research Group This Wiki is about the study of the new subspecies of humans, Homo Sapiens Devereux. The only known remaining member of this subspecies goes by the name of Zachary Hamilton Cornwallis Devereux. We can deduce that the lineage of Zachary Devereux goes all the way back to the bloody french, but scientists associate Zachary more with the isle of GREAT BRITAIN. This is because of Zachary's national pride in being "Great British", distinguishing himself from the chavs and others who simply call themselves British. The Homo Sapienism Devereux's is now a very endangered species. If you find one, contact your government and treat it to some Subway, or medium-high priced sandwiches (which the Devereux considers "worth it") from a cafe, as it will reluctantly eat anything else due to its very strict diet. Please note: a Devereux may throw any loose change you have, or give it, in/towards a grassy field, please do not give any of your coins to a Devereux, he may just throw it away, believing that a cleaner (especially a lawn mover) will pick it up, break, and explode, burning the grass and any adjacent buildings causing worldwide destruction. The reason for this habit is unknown The Origin There is currently only one of this newly discovered species and scientists wish for it to not breed due to it's annoying nature (see history of Devereux's). This sub species arose from the Homo Sapiens Sapiens due to a mutation in the coding of brain cells (most likely frameshift) which prevents the subspecies to distinguish between R and S isomers. A Homo Sapiens Devereux's jaws are slightly different compared to the normal Homo Sapiens Sapiens due to its lack of muscles for movement of the jaw, and movement of the oesophagus. This space is made up by extra "Great British-ness producing glands" according to dentists who have had the rare opportunity to scan a Devereux's jaw. This also explains the reason why Devereuxs take a very long time to eat. This also has something to do with a Devereux's belief that eating slowly is more Great British, than eating quickly. Caring for your Devereux If you have decided to take care of a Devereux (if you are lucky enough to come across the only one) here are a few steps to help preserve this dying breed: A Devereux's diet is a very strict one. A Devereux is only known to eat medium-high priced sandwiches (preferably Subway) for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Please be patient. Due to its lack of jaw muscles, a Devereux can spend over an hour eating this sandwich. Training your Devereux might be difficult. However, studies show that Devereux's respond well to treats, namely, macadamia nut cookies. Reward your Devereux by giving them these treats. Punish it by withholding their cookies for a set amount of time. Losing your Devereux is very common. You may find your Devereux near a Subway branch, or other mid-high priced sandwich cafe's. The proper way to clean your Devereux is unknown at the moment. It is common practice to leave it to clean itself. If it doesn't, use a medium powered hose to clean it 3 times a week minimum. A Devereux sleeps during similar times as an average teenager. it is common practice to keep your Devereux active, walk/run your Devereux at least once a week to keep it fit. If it is smart enough, you can even teach it sports. The average adult Devereux has an average Homo Sapien's brain capacity at age 5 - they cannot win arguments other than refusing to face the truth and are unable to apply spatial thinking (resulting in its utter dislike for S and R sterioisomers). We will add more to this section as soon as we collate more information about the Devereux sub-species. Latest activity Category:Browse Category:Great British Category:Lineage